I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I met the friendliest cop last night
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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