We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
