My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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