This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
