just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
