i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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