mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
