She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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