Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
