I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
