Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
