I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
