it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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