I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
