oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
