i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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