i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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