im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
