my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
