i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They have beer where we have blood.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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