yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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