dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
