apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just tell him i said nine months
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
