He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
