Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
