and you said cock pushups were impossible
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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