she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I've blown a few things in my day
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
