So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
