I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
