he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
