Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
