...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
