U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
