Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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