Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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