sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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