But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
