you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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