Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
