dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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