it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
