Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
