So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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