im six kinds of drunk right now
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
