Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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