Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
