remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
