don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
