Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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