Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think my fart just growled at me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
