SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
