There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
